took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
