my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
