go do what you do best...puke behind churches
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
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