Nicole vs. Life
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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