Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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