take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
