Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
