On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
