You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
