Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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