it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
