I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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