This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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