Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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