So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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