the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
