Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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