I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
