Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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