best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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