I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
