She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
