a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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