We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
