In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
