yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
