We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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