Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
