We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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