I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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