Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
