"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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