he wants to bone in the snuggie
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
pray to the hookup gods
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
