Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
