he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
