Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
