I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
