we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
