would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Randomize
