So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
