addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize