Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
