Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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