New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
