you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
