I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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