you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize