ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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