I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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