Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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