Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
