I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
