I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
