she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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