I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
