where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
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I'm passing your future prison.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
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Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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