Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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