After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
The feeling are messing with the penis
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
